A Reason

Can't find a reson to die,
Therefore I choose to live.

Can't find a reason to move,
Therefore I choose to stay.

Can't find a reason to shout,
Therefore I choose to be silent.

Can't find a reason to sail,
Therefore I choose to be at the shore.

Can't find a reason for excitement,
Therefore I choose to be lazy.


Can't find a reason to notice,
Therefore I choose to be ignored.

Can't find a reason to wait,
Therefore I choose to drift.

Can't find a reason for reality,
Therefore I choose to dwell in dreams.

Can't find a reason to be with you,
Therefore I choose to be apart.

I have no reason for anything,
And yet a reason for everything.
I have no reason to question all this,
And a reason to answer them all.

These reasons have become my identity,
These reasons are all I am known as
These reasons have become me
Then what am I ? Why am I ?
Just a reason I guess

ढूंढती मैं !

पत्तों  कि  छाओं  में  अपनी  सेज को  ढूँढा ,
उलझी  हुयी  राहों  पे  अपनी  मंजिल  को ढूँढा
भिखरी  हुयी  रेत  पे  अपना  नाम  ढूँढा ,
चट्टानों  से  टकराती   हुयी   लेहेरों  में  अपनी  आवाज़  को  ढूँढा

हर  नाव  में  अपनी  पतवार  को  ढूँढा ,
हर  मायूसी   में  अपने   हौसलों   को  ढूँढा ,
हर  नाकामी  में  अपनी  कामयाबी  को  ढूँढा ,
हर  ख़ामोशी  में  अपनी  दहाड़  को  ढूँढा

अपने  दबे  हुए  अरमानों  में  उमंगों  को  ढूँढा ,
अपने  सिले  हुए  होटों  में  जवाबों  को  ढूँढा ,
इन  तनहाइयों  में  उस  चेहरे  को  ढूँढा ,
और  उस  चेहरे  में  फिर  खुद  को  ढूँढा

कहाँ  गलत  ढूँढा ? कहाँ  नहीं   ढूँढा ?
पर  ये  तलाश  अभी  जारी  है .......

Call my name...

Call my name,
Suffocating I am,
Can't breathe,
Can you hear me baby,
Its too dark out here
Can't sense your presence.
Call my name,
Shivering I am,
Pull me out,
Hold me tight,
Lie down beside me,
Wanna smell you.
Call my name,
Shouting I am,
Can you feel my pulse,
Can you read my tears,
Can you assure me,
O! Will you say you'll never go,
Your lie becomes my life.
Call my name,
Freezing I am,
Be my fire,
Stand near,
Touch my heart,
Oh ! let me breath you in
Call my name, my love
O !, why don't you call my name
Just Call my name

Sinking Sand

This post is intended to be an answer to the following :
http://chetan-ideas.blogspot.com/2010/09/sinking-sand.html

The sand is sinking,
The sinking sand is sinking,
You sink with the sinking sand,
I give my hand and I sink with you in the sinking sand
I try to pull you towards land
And you push yourself into the sinking sand
You call out no one, you stand on the sinking sand
You look for no hand, you breathe in the sinking sand
You pull me towards the sinking sand
This sinking sand is in you, It is You
You are your own sinking sand
You pull me and I become my sinking sand
I try and try to pull, but the sand is sinking
It pushes me further in
You stand there and watch me sinking 

You sink with me in your sinking sand
The sinking sand engulfs me
The sinking sand engulfs you

The sand is sinking everywhere 

There is no land, there is no water
Its only a mirage
It has always been an oasis
The sinking sand sinks us

We sink in our sinking sand.

Time

Time flows,
Time travels,
Time doesn't rest under a tree,
Time doesn't stop to relish a beautiful morning,
Time doesn't question you as to why you don't pay heed to it,
Time asks for no answers
Yet its presence is felt again and again,
You smile with a happy time and cry at a sad one,
You ask it to relive itself,
All this in vain.
Time has its own course to follow
It has been same for everyone since ages..
Either you walk beside it or behind it.
But a life lived is one where time has to catch you, it watches you.

Retreat: as an emotion

Narrating an incident or telling a story will not change the manner in which a person retreats. One just retreats, takes a step back. This act assures him that his emotions are safer now, he has efficiently guarded them. He can now relax in his comfortable armchair and be at peace. The chapter is closed.

But is this how emotions are actually guarded? Are we ever able to come out of those feelings? Does the fear of being hurt ever dies?

“Only a man who explores the depth of his emotions can come out of them”, very true. This further implies that a man who guards them will always find them lingering inside him. They will resurface time and again whenever you try to loose yourself even a bit. This act will naturally make you retreat again and then it becomes a non-terminating process. You are now totally engulfed by the power of retreat (an emotion) and it is swallowing your ability to “live in the emotion for the moment.”

Now the next question “should we never retreat”. The answer, ideally “YES”, practically “NO”. So where to draw the line? Who are ones we should retreat from? When should we retreat?

Let me try to reach to a conclusion.

Who do we actually retreat from? The ones we care for the most, and to be more precise are afraid of losing the most. Losing becomes important because we generally don’t retreat in front of our parents, quite possible we do not love them the most, but definitely we are sure of never losing them, so we never retreat. Definitely in cases, where you love them too much you find yourself retreating as well.

How capable are these our very own loved ones of hurting us? To a great Extent. Any action of theirs which is not in sync with our expectations hurt us. Even a burp of theirs, which we didn’t want hurts. So the idea is to communicate. But communicating emotions is very difficult. To give right words to the thoughts is a Herculean task. But we still have asymptotes.

Once the problem is conveyed, the next step is to understand or analyze the solution. You can have your buts and ifs, but discussion can probably bring it to a conclusive and more agreeable end.

Moving ahead like this will form a history of a number of cases and a repetition of a particular case a number of times and more than one particular case a number of times is where we might draw the line. Also, there can be some misaligned cases, where you have the choice. Explore and experiment what works best. Arriving at a conclusion without exploring will bring us back to where we started.

All in all, make life easier to live, more simple to understand and more convenient to tackle. “Why are you afraid of questioning, when you have nothing to loose?” So break free, loose yourself.

Salvation...

Aren't love and hate two very similar feelings, in terms of passion and craziness which drives it. In either case, one becomes blind. though in the former one it is towards the negativity and in the latter towards positivity.
Yet, the righteous path is defined as the middle path. May be because, this is the only way to keep one away from two ends of insanity.. love and hate.

For me , love is unconditional. I see my father's love for me. he might be sad, if I don't pay heed to his advice, but he is never angry. This is the closest I could feel unconditional love. People narrate their love stories and I never could feel the depth. I think, I have started to believe that it is humanly impossible to love unconditionally. To stay, entirely motivated and passionate in the long run becomes very difficult.
Hate is unexplored for me. I don't think I have the capacity to hate anybody. Yet, what happened at Godhra remains my bench mark for hatred and violence. The thing I hate most is when people advice me on stuff where there are no logics to justify. I find it very difficult to hear them out. i usually cut them in between. This is the utmost i could hate.

Irony, is that one just fails to understand that achieving any of the three states is very difficult.
From what I understand, both love and hate also bring you to the state of salvation or nirvana, similar to the righteous path.
This is why "Meera" could attain it and as well "Ashoka the Great" could.

Claiming, which is the easiest is irrelevant cause none is easy. One has to give entire life. And giving an entire life for one cause in itself is brain-storming, tedious and carries with itself lot of disturbances.
"Hope is a good thing, Probably one of the best things"..quoted Shawshank Redemption.
My hope .. I will achieve salvation. through which path don't know.