Call my name,
Suffocating I am,
Can't breathe,
Can you hear me baby,
Its too dark out here
Can't sense your presence.
Call my name,
Shivering I am,
Pull me out,
Hold me tight,
Lie down beside me,
Wanna smell you.
Call my name,
Shouting I am,
Can you feel my pulse,
Can you read my tears,
Can you assure me,
O! Will you say you'll never go,
Your lie becomes my life.
Call my name,
Freezing I am,
Be my fire,
Stand near,
Touch my heart,
Oh ! let me breath you in
Call my name, my love
O !, why don't you call my name
Just Call my name
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wonderful.. touching .... ur sense of sense is improving day by day ... wots the matter ? is it me around or u have really turned wise :)
ReplyDeleteWow!! This is real nice Urvashi. I did not know this side of urs while at iitk :-) keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleterhythm kar rahi hai :P ... aur achchhi hai :) ... awesome
ReplyDeletebadhiya. vipin pathak
ReplyDeletehey
ReplyDeleteIt is a decent poem written in fairly simple English. It depicts the distress, misery, pain, anguish of a person intensely in need of help and support. This person may be a spiritual aspirant seeking God. He is eager to have a glimpse of the Lord.
ReplyDeleteOr, he may be sorrowful because of separation of his/her loved one - may be death or broken relationship.
Or, the person may be physically challenged, diseased, or too hold. He is stuck somewhere and calling for help so that he can get out from there.
In either f the cases, it showcases the emotions and sentiments of a person in crisis, in need of help - either physical, mental or spiritual. It somehow relates to each and every individual who is struggling every day of his life, no body to take care of him, and he is calling out anxiously for someone.
Regarding the writing, there is not much critical comments to make. But regarding the subject, yes. It reflects the human dependence and weakness. In that sense, it is a minus point. Secondly, it does not provide any consolation to the distressed person (at least at the end). It gives a feeling that there is no respite from this overwhelming sorrow of separation. From the literary sense, pathos and agony form the basis of many classic literature. People do appreciate all this. But to me, it looks incomplete if his search for peace and happiness remains unfulfilled. There has a to be a positive message conveyed at the end.But anyways, this is my personal opinion.
kya baat hai D .... famouswa rahe ho ....
ReplyDelete@subhadip: There is one more plaussible inference ... the person herself/himself has chosen the abyss! He/she yet is waiting for the stern and immobile partner to turn its way but he/she where knows that it wont happen yet he/she doesnt want to lose the hope .... thats why there is no consolation and there cant be any consolation ... wot say?
ReplyDelete@shubhadip: The poem reflects a state of mind. It itself speaks for its solution. With every changing paragraph it is giving various options of how it can be saved.The answer lies in itself.This unknown power it is calling to maybe it lies in itself and he/she finds it or may be he/she discovers it in the embodiment of another person, whatever way.
ReplyDeleteI hope you now are able to understand where the respite is.
Thanks for such a detailed analysis.It is really great to know that the message is carried.
je to hadd hi ho gayi blog likhne wale ko hi apne gender ka knowledge nahi hai ... still in doubt ki he hai ya she hai :PPP
ReplyDelete@chetan : I respect your interpretation, but isint hope in itself a great consolation. You consolation, mine consolation or for that matter anyone's is hope only.
ReplyDeleteTo all : As I Move On is my profile name.
ReplyDelete..Urvashi
nice
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete@chetan;
ReplyDelete@priyanka;
@shubhadip;
@anku;
@vipin;
@anonymous;
thank you all for such precious comments.
..Urvashi